The boring stuff

Few things are as dull as a privacy policy. So to get you outta here as quickly as possible, here’s everything you need to know in just 217 words.

1. I treat the privacy of your data with the same respect as I do my Beach Boys vinyl collection. And trust me, nobody’s getting their mitts on that.
2. I use your data for project purposes only. You’ll never receive a marketing email from me, and I’ll never share your info with third parties.
3. I don’t have a retention period on your data. If you want it removed or want to check what personal info I have on file, just say the word.
4. I look after your data with all the necessary malware and virus protection one could possibly need. If a no-gooder wants to break in, they’ll need an almighty virtual crowbar.
5. If you want to make a complaint about how I use your data, that’s fine. But just remember who’s in charge of the Christmas card list, matey.

One more thing: by hanging around my website and potentially using my services, you agree to the terms of this policy. If you don’t, I’ll give you a ten-second head start before I let Joey off the lead. GO!