The fable of the feline and the robot vacuum cleaner

3 min read

When I heard the news artificial intelligence could write copy, I was instantly reminded of an unfortunate incident involving a robot vacuum cleaner and my blue Persian cat, Mr Jingles. Here he is.

Sadly he died in 2020, so here’s my wordy tribute to him. Up in pet heaven, I’m sure he’ll be clawing threads out of expensive furniture, getting stuck on a roof or launching for a spiritual limb in full attack mode. God, I miss him.

Anyway, you’re not here to lend me a shoulder. So without further ado, here’s a warning about using AI for copywriting.

Insert wavy lines as we go back in time

It was 2019 and I decided to buy a Roomba i7 with vouchers I’d received as a birthday gift.

You might know what I’m talking about. It’s a disc-shaped autonomous vacuum thing-y that cleans floors using Dirt Detection™ technology.

For three weeks, it was the best thing I’d ever owned.

Every morning at 3am, it would fire up its twin rollers and tangle-free brushes to clean the downstairs floor before returning to its docking station to recharge.

I was living the dirt-free dream.

But one day, Mr Jingles took it upon himself to change all that. Because at some time between 11.04pm and 2.59am, he made the educated decision to tip his skip six yards into my Roomba’s route plan.

Sure enough, at 3am the “best thing I’d ever owned” fired-up its twin rollers and tangle-free brushes to clean every square millimetre of my living room.

And within minutes, a faint film of feline faeces festooned every floor of the house.

To this day, I’ve always thought twice before using technology.

If you have any questions about copywriting – or want to buy a pre-owned Roomba® – gimme a call on 01273 458 557.

Tom Davies is a freelance copywriter based in Brighton.

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